Forgive and Forget

Is it really hard to forgive?

Or is it just hard to forgive those that mean the most to us?

I have made plenty of mistakes in my day. Some were a lot more heinous than others. But, the underlying theme to all the mistakes that I have made is that forgiveness was required in order to move on. I think the thing that I missed about forgiveness growing up is the 'required' part, for both parties... the offender and the offended. I didn't understand that for the longest time, until I witnessed someone that is very close to me that I put on the receiving end. Being the offender (me) required forgiveness from the offended (them).

The other thing that I never realized is the mercy that I had to cling to, until that forgiveness was given. I was at their mercy to be forgiven. It doesn't matter what the circumstances were that surrounded the need for the forgiveness... I could have stolen a sticker from one of my friends when I was 6, the point is that when forgiveness is given or received (and meant) the healing can finally begin.

Until then, we are all left "weltering in our own sins".

Here is the next question... did we really apologize if we can't 'let it go', even though we have claimed forgiveness?

I think this is simple... obviously the forgiveness hasn't been given or received, or you wouldn't have to bring it up, or remind the party of their wrongdoing. If you have really forgiven someone, you won't bring it up again. If you have really received forgiveness from someone, you won't remind him or her of the thing that you did wrong. In other words... Forgive and Forget... Why is that so hard to do?

The last thing I am going to add while up here on my soap box is this...

In order to forgive or recieve forgiveness there has to be an incredible amount of 'swallowing your PRIDE' involved. Especially if you feel that you are the one who has been offended. Pride is the largest reason that family and friend quarrels never get resolved. Both parties feel that they are justified in feeling the way that they do. Both parties feel that it is the other persons 'responsibility' to contact them and crawl in on their hands and knees begging for forgiveness. When this happens, it will (9 times out of 10) never get resolved, until one or the other party swallows that big lump of pride in their throat(s) and apologizes.

I have a quote about this exact thing from a very wise man:

"A common error is the idea that the offender must apologize and humble himself to the dust before forgiveness is required. Certainly, the one who does the injury should totally make his adjustment, but as for the offended one, he must forgive the offender regardless of the attitude of the other."

I am getting down now, you can go back to your regularly scheduled program.

7 comments:

Terri said...

In my experience with forgiveness, I have found that in order to forgive, it must be followed with an sincere apology and honesty with what the perpatrator has or had done to do others to do them wrong.
Forgiveness is Christ. And until we can all decide to become more like Him, I think it will be a long time coming til forgiveness can come with sincerity on all parts.

Terri said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Saroo said...

"So, OK, the Attorney General says there is too much violence on T.V. and that should stop. But even if you took out all the violent shows, you could still see the news. So, until mankind is peaceful enough not to have violence on the news, there's no point in taking it out of shows that need it for entertainment value. Thank you."

- Cher, Clueless

Sorry, dude... I couldn't resist.

Winelovette said...

you can quote Clueless anytime. I love her, she is the smartest Beverly Hills Brat out there. Clueless is on my top 5 list of movies I could watch anytime. Quote away lady

Travelocosity said...

Iteresting post, Sarah. I think its insightful. What strikes me more and more through the years is that most conflicts arise when everyone involved is doing what they think is best or right. The conflict arises when not everyone agrees with what is best and everyone feels righteous about what they did. So how do you apologize when you thought you were doing what was best? You just do it. Right? And you mean it. Because that event is not your whole life. You're life is good times with that person or person(s) and this gets stuck in it too unfortunately, so we've all got to get past it and be happy again. At any rate, I like your post.

RRRRRRrrrr... said...

Ah. Forgiveness. You sound like you're agonizing for it. What did you do, kill someone? Honestly, the hardest thing is to forgive yourself, and you don't sound like you're there yet. I hope things are improving, though.

Terri said...

rrrrrr.... retard.