Forgive and Forget

Is it really hard to forgive?

Or is it just hard to forgive those that mean the most to us?

I have made plenty of mistakes in my day. Some were a lot more heinous than others. But, the underlying theme to all the mistakes that I have made is that forgiveness was required in order to move on. I think the thing that I missed about forgiveness growing up is the 'required' part, for both parties... the offender and the offended. I didn't understand that for the longest time, until I witnessed someone that is very close to me that I put on the receiving end. Being the offender (me) required forgiveness from the offended (them).

The other thing that I never realized is the mercy that I had to cling to, until that forgiveness was given. I was at their mercy to be forgiven. It doesn't matter what the circumstances were that surrounded the need for the forgiveness... I could have stolen a sticker from one of my friends when I was 6, the point is that when forgiveness is given or received (and meant) the healing can finally begin.

Until then, we are all left "weltering in our own sins".

Here is the next question... did we really apologize if we can't 'let it go', even though we have claimed forgiveness?

I think this is simple... obviously the forgiveness hasn't been given or received, or you wouldn't have to bring it up, or remind the party of their wrongdoing. If you have really forgiven someone, you won't bring it up again. If you have really received forgiveness from someone, you won't remind him or her of the thing that you did wrong. In other words... Forgive and Forget... Why is that so hard to do?

The last thing I am going to add while up here on my soap box is this...

In order to forgive or recieve forgiveness there has to be an incredible amount of 'swallowing your PRIDE' involved. Especially if you feel that you are the one who has been offended. Pride is the largest reason that family and friend quarrels never get resolved. Both parties feel that they are justified in feeling the way that they do. Both parties feel that it is the other persons 'responsibility' to contact them and crawl in on their hands and knees begging for forgiveness. When this happens, it will (9 times out of 10) never get resolved, until one or the other party swallows that big lump of pride in their throat(s) and apologizes.

I have a quote about this exact thing from a very wise man:

"A common error is the idea that the offender must apologize and humble himself to the dust before forgiveness is required. Certainly, the one who does the injury should totally make his adjustment, but as for the offended one, he must forgive the offender regardless of the attitude of the other."

I am getting down now, you can go back to your regularly scheduled program.