10 Reasons to NEVER have Caffeine

1. It is of the Devil and will crush you when you decide to not have it anymore.

2. It sucks your will to live once you become dependent on it, which will happen if it hasn't yet.

3. It gives you the false sense that everything is going to be fine, when in reality everything isn't going to be fine, because you will decide that you need the caffeine more than you need your arm and will proceed to chew off your arm in order to get more.

4. It makes you write run-on sentences when you are trying to illustrate the magnitude of its addictiveness.

5. It gives you a headache for about a week before it leaves your system, some hours are worse than others.

6. Along with the caffeine is the sucralose in the diet drink, it will make you feel more hungry and even munchy during the day when you have nothing but fruit snacks and fish crackers around... WARNING: you will eat them ALL and leave your little children hungry and crying for theirs!

7. It keeps you up at night tossing and turning and tossing and turning.

8. It keeps you up at night tossing and turning and tossing and turning.

9. It makes you repeat things that you forgot you said before.

10.  It makes your drinks so much better, but in the end you are left with a week long headache and no memory.  But, you do it because you want to sleep uninterrupted and remember things like the last time you brushed your teeth or what day of the week it is... and you want to stop writing run-on sentences too!