Sharing Time

I haven't been blogging much lately and I can't quite figure out why.  Maybe it's because I keep setting these unrealistic goals for myself (HCG is dead... may it burn in H-E-L-L!) on my blog and I keep letting myself down.  Maybe it's because I am not quite sure what to talk about because I have waaaay too much going on in my little brain to put down in one post.  Or, maybe it's because I can't seem to allow myself to be thoroughly honest on this here blog.  Maybe it's mostly that last one and I am just realizing this as I type.  So, here we go... take it or leave it, but do something with it!

Honesty from the mouth of FoxyStarbuck:

I love my family (my hubby and little kiddies) They really are the world to me.

I hate when I feel left out of something.

I am happy when I am honest with myself and others.

I am unhappy when I disappoint my husband or anyone else that means a lot to me.

I love silly TV shows like Scrubs.  (love that show!)

I don't know why there are people who try to figure me out without knowing anything about me.

I love a beautiful sunset.

I hate hangnails.

I am happy when my little kids give me hugs and slobbery kisses.

I am unhappy when they are hurt or unhappy themselves.

I love dry wit, sarcasm, or biting comments.

I don't want to be bothered with people who are too self involved to see that they play a vital role in their own life and choices.

I love my good friends who lift me up, strengthen me and listen to my stupidity and tolerate my insanity.

I hate that my neighbors house burned down 2 days before Christmas Eve this last year.

I love talking with people who allow me to listen to them and then want to hear my advice afterwards.

I love that my husband studies the Gospel constantly and is learning about sacrifice and the law of consecration, it puts my study time to shame!

I love that my family says prayers together morning and night, without fail.  Love that!

I love that I have started to feel a real connection to Mike's Great Grandfather through the books that he wrote.  Which, is weird because I don't feel a connection even with my own dead relatives that I have done temple work for.

I am happy when I cook... and eat... and make things that I can share with others... especially when it brings me praise.

I am amused that I have continued this list even though I clearly have shared too much.

I am stopping here.... you have heard too much already.

Still Going, and Strong

Yesterday and the day before were both good days.  Of course one of those days was the other gorge day and well, I did just that.  I'm really good at those days.  So on day two fo gorging I ate:

1 Chocolate/Chocolate donut from Dunford, yum!
1 Raspberry Fritter from Dunford
1 Coke, the real stuff
1 plate of artichoke pasta, another yum!
1 bowl of mint chip ice cream
1 plate of spicy rigatoni, spicy penne with sausage, lots of bread and some cheesy bread oh, and Dr. Pepper, the real stuff again.
1 more actually, I just ate the rest of the ice cream from the carton... didn't even bother putting it in a bowl, who needs to dirty more dishes anyway?!

I gained 6 pounds between the two days of gorging!?!?

Is this diet really meant to do that?  I dunno, but it happened to me.

I can tell you that I felt so gross and imbalanced by the time I went to bed that I was happy to start the diet yesterday.  So, I started and it went really well.  I made a nice chicken, tomato and basil dish that hit the spot and then a chicken soup for dinner last night.  I had apples for my fruit and those worked out pretty well.  I wasn't all that hungry, probably because of all the pasta the night before.  At any rate, it was a good first day... and I lost 3 pounds right out of the gate this morning.  Not too bad for 4 days on the diet, but I still need to lose the other 3 pounds that I gained before I can say that I "lost" weight, right?

Anyway, today is a little bit more difficult with the hunger stuff.  I've felt more hungry today so far than I did yesterday.  But, I'll report more on that tomorrow.

Here's to the day... To good eats and more weight loss!

Starting It All Over Again!

I started on HCG yesterday, again!  I am giving it another shot after the debacle that the time before this last time was when I tried it and gave myself 5x the proper dose.  Yes, I did do it again before this time and after the "5x's" fiasco and I lost 18 pounds... then gained back 9 because, well lets face it:  I have very little self control.  I am a sucker for sweets and when I went on it this last time it was right before Thanksgiving and c'mon!  Who can blame me for gaining 9 pounds back when there's pumpkin pie and Christmas everything?!

So, I'm trying it again and will be going for a 30 day stint, unless I feel really saucy after a few weeks and decide to extend another 13 days for the full 43 day stint.  I am using the drops this time, not the shots, so there won't be any improper dosing going on, I hope.  If I am trying to be sort of honest with myself I'd say that I need to lose 30 pounds to be where I am happy.  And, if I'm being really honest with myself, I'd say that I need to lose 40 pounds.  So, it depends on the day and time when it comes to being honest with myself.

Yesterday for my first binge day I ate:

• 2 slices of fat free bread (fat free, you say... well, I'll make up fo that!), with 8 Tablespoons of melted butter on top and a glass of 2% milk
• 1/2 a package of chips ahoy cookies with a glass of 2% milk
• 1 grilled cheese sandwich with a slice of colby/jack cheese, a slice of pepper jack cheese, 2 Tablespoons of butter AND a glass of 2% milk
• 1 bowl of mint chocolate chip ice cream
• 2 plates of spaghetti with a tomato cream sauce with artichoke hearts (which I'll be posting on Zula's very soon)
• 1 more bowl of mint chocolate chip ice cream with 2% milk and chocolate sauce, like a shake

Disgusting!

It makes me want to throw up in my mouth a little just because I'm typing it out.  I can't believe that I ate that... and today is day two of binging... I'll report on that later.  But, I can assure you that it just gets better!

10 Reasons to NEVER have Caffeine

1. It is of the Devil and will crush you when you decide to not have it anymore.

2. It sucks your will to live once you become dependent on it, which will happen if it hasn't yet.

3. It gives you the false sense that everything is going to be fine, when in reality everything isn't going to be fine, because you will decide that you need the caffeine more than you need your arm and will proceed to chew off your arm in order to get more.

4. It makes you write run-on sentences when you are trying to illustrate the magnitude of its addictiveness.

5. It gives you a headache for about a week before it leaves your system, some hours are worse than others.

6. Along with the caffeine is the sucralose in the diet drink, it will make you feel more hungry and even munchy during the day when you have nothing but fruit snacks and fish crackers around... WARNING: you will eat them ALL and leave your little children hungry and crying for theirs!

7. It keeps you up at night tossing and turning and tossing and turning.

8. It keeps you up at night tossing and turning and tossing and turning.

9. It makes you repeat things that you forgot you said before.

10.  It makes your drinks so much better, but in the end you are left with a week long headache and no memory.  But, you do it because you want to sleep uninterrupted and remember things like the last time you brushed your teeth or what day of the week it is... and you want to stop writing run-on sentences too!